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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 11:38:24 GMT -5
It would have been better if he had remained dead. He never would have to of seen what he saw, or go through what he was went through. That was probably the hardest thing he had ever done in his life, but it was even harder to keep his emotions in order. He didn't want to seem weak in front of Kali, so he built up his anger that he had stored for Shinrin and the anger he had when he saw Kali with another male. She had lied to him. He wasn't sure what was worse; her lying to him or seeing her with another male. He didn't know and he didn't care anymore. It was all over. Nothing mattered. If they were over, then so was he. He had said he'd rather be dead than alone and he was going to go through with it. So what if he was wasting the life Shinrin gave him? She had no business bringing him back in the first place.
The mountains seemed like the place to do it. They were somewhat high up and away from everything else. No one would ever know, no one would ever have to know. His massive frame could be seen sitting on the highest mountain, his eyes staring out into nothing. This was the worst possible thing. He wanted Kali to be happy, and if she was, he wasn't going to take it away from her. He wouldn't ruin things for her and that other male. He wouldn't cause a scene or anything of the sort. And by leaving this world for eternity, he would never have to worry about it or try and stop himself from doing such a thing. He loved her enough that he would let her be with that other male for as long as she wanted.
He stared off into the distance, not really seeing anything, as he thought over the many things that had so recently happened. He never did get to just settle down and enjoy life. It was always taken away from him at one point or another. He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed deeply, shaking his head. What was the point? He had nothing. Why bother to go on? Sure, it was the cowards way out, but he would rather be known as a coward than be alone for the rest of his life. He didn't want to deal with it anymore. But as he opened his eyes again and looked out at the surrounding area, he couldn't seem to do it. Something was holding him back and he wasn't quite sure what it was.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 11:52:38 GMT -5
Velia made her way the tallest mountain, just wanting to get away from life. Escape everything around her and forget. She never could be able to fully escape life though. Someone or something always came in the way of that. For some reason she had the feeling she wasn't alone. She wasn't watching the sky, she was just staring down at the ground. She wasn't in a good mood and she knew exactly why. The other half was coming soon. She could feel it.
She sighed. The wind was against her today, sending anyone's scent who may be up there down to her. But she was still too far away to be able to make out any particular scents. As she came closer, she was able to make out a scent. A scent she knew. She couldn't tell who's it was yet, though. It was a male's, that was for sure. A very familar scent. After a minute... she stopped. "... Kaige?" She asked herself. Why would he be up here? And she didn't smell Kali's scent. Why was he alone? Coming to the top, she wanted to turn and run away out of anger... but that wouln't be right.
Wait... he had died! She had watched! What was this? And he looked different... this was too strange. She wouldn't ask him why he was alive... maybe that was why he was up here. "I'm sorry to bother you... but Kaige? Is there something wrong?" She asked him. Why was she helping him? He was the one who had yelled at her and left her alone and yet here she stood. Ever faithful. Velia... you're so stupid. He's just going to tell you to away again. There's no point in this. Unlike many she knew, Velia would leave if she was asked to. Velia wasn't one to pester others or annoy them to the ends of the Earth.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 12:11:00 GMT -5
Kaige was too lost in his own thoughts to notice another wolf was coming up the mountain. Even if he had noticed, he probably wouldn't have cared. His ears pinned back against his skull and he glared out at the horizon, though it wasn't one of anger. It was one of great sadness, sadness that he didn't want to deal with anymore. It made him feel like he was weak and he didn't want that. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard someones voice, but he hadn't registered who it was right away. He was about to turn around and tell the wolf to buzz off until he finally realized who it was. "Oh... it's you." His voice was low and flat, no emotion of any sort in it, but the look on his face was enough to explain he wasn't feeling 'normal'.
After a moment, he realized what he said was somewhat rude. "Sorry...," he mumbled, turning his gaze away once again to look out into the horizon. He wasn't sure if he wanted her to stay or not. Then again, what did it matter? He wasn't going to be around much longer. Might as well make the best of it. But there last encounter hadn't been one of the best and he figured he owed it to her to at least be decent. His shoulders lifted as he shrugged and put a mask over the expression he was carrying. "I guess... everything," he said after a moment, though this time he sounded weary and beat. "Yeah. Everything." He nodded, though it was more to himself than to her as if he were confirming that it was. "Everything." He repeated, realizing he probably making sense. He didn't care.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 12:18:56 GMT -5
Velia nodded. Everything looked like it was bothering him. He wasn't himself. His 'Shut up Velia and go away.' Type of self. That was the side she had expected to get and was suprised by this one. But not in a good or bad way. Sort of shocked. "Well would you like to tell me what's wrong? I'll leave if you don't want me here." She added, her voice not so content Velia-ish. It sounded a bit sadder... and a bit quieter. It wasn't bright and vibrant like normal.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 12:28:45 GMT -5
"What's there to tell?" he asked, turning his gaze away from the horizon as he looked to her. It was a stupid thing to say. There was a lot to tell. A lot had just happened in a period of just a few minutes. He wanted to forget about it all and just get on with his plans, but it wasn't possible. One, he would never be able to forget about everything even if he wanted to and two, he still couldn't bring himself to just die.. again. He didn't know why and it was beginning to bother him. Maybe if he talked about it with Velia, he would be able to figure it out or the answer would come to him. So, that was that.
"Well... for one, I'm alive." That shouldn't have been a problem. Most wolves that were dead would have loved to live again. But Kaige, well, that was different for him. "Two, I'm only alive because Shinrin brought me back." Again, that shouldn't have been a problem because he did love her at one point whether she wanted to believe him or not, but he was angry. He didn't want to be back.. especially now. "And three... Kali decided to move on even though she told me she would love me and nobody else." That was a problem. To him, anyway. What was he going to do now that he didn't have her? Oh, right. "She lied to me." He shook his head and laughed, but there was no humor behind it. "Oh well. No worries now." He wasn't sure why he was talking to her. He was supposed to be angry with her since she had left him so many years ago, just as Shinrin and Kali had. But, for some reason, it made him feel just a little better.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 12:48:33 GMT -5
"Oh damn." Velia stated simply. She wasn't sure what else to say. Kaige's life was falling and she knew what he would try to do. She needed to tell him not to kill himself but she didn't know how. He'd say something like 'What's there to live for?' Or something like that. And then just jump down her throat for even suggesting something like that. "I'm really sorry, Kaige. But I know what you're going to do... and you really shouldn't. Don't even tell me you should, because you know it's not right. You won't admit it to yourself." She finally said, looking to him seriousally.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 13:01:23 GMT -5
There was more laughter, but it still had no humor to it. She was smarter than he gave her credit for. Of course, if he did go along with what he had planned, she couldn't really stop him unless she had some sort of power he didn't know about. The laughter stopped and his expression crumbled. For a moment, he looked tired and old, but it soon went away into nothing. His eyes were empty and so was his voice. "I should and it is right. There's nothing wrong with it," he said in a monotone. Really, she couldn't stop him even if she tried. Once he had something planned, that was that. But he still hadn't moved an inch.
"And so what if I do?" he said, some life showing in his eyes before it quickly faded away. "You can't really stop me. And besides that, why should I even hang around? I've got nothing going for me. I don't really have anything. So what's the big deal?" This time, there was something in his voice. It was dead or low or empty like it had been before. There was something that was returning to him, something that was picking up the pieces.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 13:09:57 GMT -5
"Because Kaige, believe it or not I still do think of you as some importance. And when I saw you dead before it killed me inside. I don't even see why I'm attempting to stop you, though. You don't care what I say anymore. But I guess I just don't want to see you gone for good." She said, a look of seriousness in her eyes. She wasn't lying just to stop him. She was telling the truth. "Though I don't know what you'd have left. I'd say me but I don't count as anything to you. Let's just say maybe there is something to live for out there and you just haven't found it. Kaige, everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's definatly not the end." She said, being completely serious about everything now.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 13:24:03 GMT -5
"If I don't care about what you say, then why are you trying?" he asked, a dead expression setting in on his face. But if he didn't care, then why was he still around? He turned away so his back was facing her and looked out to the horizon once again, thinking. He was stubborn. He didn't want to listen to what she had to say, and he didn't want to admit that she was right. But he owed that much to her. He shook his head and muttered something under his breath, almost seeming like he was struggling with himself. He needed to get over everything, himself included. So what if Kali had someone else? It wasn't a big deal... much. He would get over it eventually, wouldn't he?
He looked back over to Velia, a frown crossing his maw. "You? I don't have you. You left me a long time ago." He wasn't saying it to start an argument or to make her feel bad. He really didn't have her. "And if there is something out there, it'd be nice if it came and found me. I'm not up for looking for anything." He scowled slightly and averted his gaze once more. He realized he was being somewhat immature and he needed to stop with the whole "Nothing will ever be right again" act. He shook his head and straightened up his posture, looking back to her. "Maybe you're right," he said after a moment of silence. "At least, I hope you're right." She had a point and he knew she meant well, but he still felt.. out of it, but it wasn't as bad as before. Maybe it had to do with her. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 13:36:13 GMT -5
Velia sighed. The whole 'past' thing was coming up again. It was time. She needed to tell him. She needed to tell one person about herself... and that one person needed to be Kaige. He had been a part of it, so he should know what he was a part of. Taking a deep breath, she looked him dead in the eye, about to spill her whole story. The truth.
"Kaige... about that. What I told you before was, in fact, a lie. I didn't leave you because I was scared. I was just telling myself that. You see... I barely believe it myself so call me insane if you like. But anyways, I lived on an island for about a year of my life. But we were all perfect. All of us. In almost all ways. It was really a weird place though. And one day a hurricane struck... everyone died but me. But I think we were all supposed to die though. Because something invaded my soul. And it wanted to make me - and everyone around me - sad... angry... anything not happy. So when it saw how happy I was with you it sort of just changed my figure and took over my body, mind, and spirit. It made me leave. And when I 'woke up' from it I was somewhere completely else and didn't know what happened until later. Again, it sounds completely insane and so you don't have to believe me." She said, averting his gaze again... ready to be aruged with and yelled at.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 13:45:14 GMT -5
"Huh." That was all he said. Nothing more, nothing less. It wasn't much, but what was he supposed to say? He shrugged and turned away again. Okay, so she had lied to him. He was used to that by now. All three of them, Shinrin, Kali and now Velia, had lied to him at some point. No big deal, right? His head cocked to the side slightly as he thought over everything in his mind. It wasn't that bad. Everyone lied at least once in their life. But the thought was kind of amusing in a way and he turned to look back at Velia, half a smirk across his maw. "And here you are making everyone think you're Little Miss Perfect," he said after awhile. He didn't say it like it was a bad thing. He didn't say it to cause trouble. He just.. said it because he thought it was amusing. "You learn something new everyday."
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 13:52:40 GMT -5
"I'm aware of what I'm doing... and I know it's not right to decieve people like I am. So I told you. You're the only wolf ever who knows. And now you can do whatever you like with the information... just know I trusted you with it." She said, still looking away. It was slightly embarrassing to tell someone this kind of thing. Espically a mate you had... and weren't getting back. Kaige had had two mates after Velia. Proving she wasn't very important after all. She hadn't had one mate after him.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 14:02:01 GMT -5
He shrugged again. "No biggy," he said, now looking over her shoulder. It really wasn't a big deal to him. "I'll probably forget sooner or later anyway," he said, being honest. And he probably would forget. He didn't keep most things stored away in his mind like some did. "Not that I was going to do anything with it, anyway," he added as an afterthought. He could be a prick when he wanted to be, but he wasn't going to give away 'secret' information, especially when she trusted him with it. He wasn't always like that. But now he had to figure something out. Stick around, or just go ahead and drop dead. But.. hadn't he decided he wasn't going to go with that whole act? "Argh," he grumbled, shaking his head. This was all too confusing.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 14:15:39 GMT -5
"Well thanks, then, Kaige." Velia said. She was glad to know that he wasn't going to tell anyone anyways. And it did help he'd end up forgetting about it anyways. It was nice to know for once that something she could tell someone was safe with someone but herself. But Kaige needed to know anyways. "But Kaige... I'm serious. You really shouldn't do what it is you're thinking about doing." She said, the intensly serious look returning again.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 14:28:38 GMT -5
"No problem," he said, not really sure if he was supposed to say something like that. His answer to all of that wasn't the best, anyway. He sighed quietly and dropped his gaze to the ground, unsure of what to say at that point or what to do. He didn't want to say anything else that would make him seem like an ass; he wasn't trying to be. For once, he was trying to be civil and he thought he was doing a good job of it, but apparently he wasn't. He looked back to her, his expression blank. "Sorry...," he muttered, though he seemed to be saying it to the ground rather than to her. At that point, he was sure he had made a decision, but he wasn't completely positive. Things could change and mess it all up. Either way, he had to deal with it.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 14:33:45 GMT -5
"Sorry for what? For being Kaige?" She asked, a troubled expression on her face. Why was he sorry now? What was he even sorry for? This was still - underneath it all - the same Kaige that she had fallen in love with years ago. This was still - underneath it all - the Kaige that still had that uncanny ability to make her smile even when she didn't want to. This was still the Kaige who held the key to her heart forever more. But she'd never admit that. Not to him. He'd never love her again. But for Velia, there was no pass-tense in love. It was always there... and it'd never go away.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 14:52:05 GMT -5
"I don't really know," he said, looking anywhere but at her. "I know I'm sorry for things, but I haven't pieced them all together. Besides, I owed you an apology anyway." He shrugged slightly and turned his gaze up to the darkened sky. "For everything." It seemed like a suitable answer to him, but he wasn't sure how Velia would take it. "I guess I'm not going to go through with this after all," he muttered, somewhat irritated with himself. He didn't want to seem like a coward, but he didn't want to stick around. He would deal with it, though. Good or bad, things happened and they happened for a reason. They all served some sort of purpose and he would eventually get over it, even if he didn't want to.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 15:02:40 GMT -5
"Well I'm also sorry. For everything I ever did." Velia said, avoiding his gaze. She was now staring out passed him... not wanting to look at him right now. Then when she heard that last part... a small smile spread across her maw. Only slightly, but it was still a smile. Not a Velia smile... but a smile none the less. She was glad she had helped change Kaige's mind about killing himself. "I'm glad you're not." She said, quietly... but then again Velia was always quiet.
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Post by ◕‿◕ on Feb 12, 2008 15:36:45 GMT -5
"You could have been worse," he said, referring to when she had just up and left without a word. "You could have told me you didn't love me and that you found someone thousands of times better than me. Or you could have told me you didn't love me at all. I prefer what you did over those things. Unless it really was one of those things and you never told me...." He was only joking, but it didn't seem like the right time to do so. It helped him feel just a little better, though. Anything that would make it better was welcomed, even if it was something stupid.
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Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 12, 2008 15:40:53 GMT -5
Velia smiled again lightly. "True, true. But none of those things would ever happen. Because I never did love anyone but you... to tell you the truth." She said. She had never even liked anyone else. Let alone love anyone. But that was only her. Kaige had loved to others after her. But somehow... she was still standing there. Talking to him. "Or did I?" She joked, being obvoiusally sarcastic.
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