At the Waterfall

[wolfurchick]

She made her way down to the river, her black fur shaggy and dull, the single feather still dangling dangerously over her maw. She stepped down into the water, staring at her reflection. She frowned. A couple of weeks ago, she had started to feel pain again, and the longing she had had begun to turn her insane. Looking into her mirrored image, she could see just how horrible she looked. She growled slightly at the image, then slapped at the water with her paw.

She let out a long sigh, looking up at the waterfall. Even though it was not the same waterfall from before, it brought back memories. She smiled. Looking down into the water once more, she decided to go for a quick dip. She plunged into the cool, refreshing water. It felt relaxing in her matted fur.

After a few moments in the water, she stepped back onto the grass, shaking her fur dry. It came out rather poofy, but dry and clean. She glanced around. No one was around telling stories today. Good. She sat in the grass. Would Kaige come? She had no idea. Perhaps it had just been a vision of Kaige that she saw, a side effect to her craziness.

Well what ever it was, she would wait. She wouldnt doubt that Kaige would show. She was somehow pretty sure he would show. She stretched, digging her claws into the dirt. Glancing around, this was the first time she actually felt like a wolf in a good long time. She gazed upwards at the sky, spotting a large tree. She smiled, jumping onto a lower branch on the tree. This is where she would wait for Kaige.

((suck-ish post ))

[◕‿◕]

He wasn't sure if he had made the right decision or not. This would probably be a waste of time, but then again, he had a lot of time to waste. There wasn't much he did these days other than roam the lands and continuously go over thoughts that were locked away in the very back of his mind. And at that moment, a very brief memory of Kali came to him; it was sometime after they had met. He had led her through the tunnels of his pack, bringing her to the spring that was hidden well inside. He was about to tell her he loved her until the sudden commotion from the graveyard started. A sudden feeling of remorse, and - was it loss? - swept over him.

"What am I doing?" he growled quietly as he made his way through the thick brush, his mind an ocean of thoughts. He had figured if he went to see what Shinrin had to say, it would get her off his back. But now, he wasn't sure. It would probably just make her happy with him coming there and he would never hear the end of it. This was a mistake, he knew that much. But he had made it this far, why not keep going? He was curious, wasn't he? He couldn't help it. He wanted to know what Shinrin had to say. And, for some unknown reason, he was looking forward to it.

Moments later, Kaige could hear the roar of the waterfall. He picked up his pace, now at a steady jog, and finally made it through the thick amount of trees. He knew where Shinrin was, having seen her through the branches he was walking through, and came to a stop some yards away. "Well?" He spoke up, masking his voice and expression. "What do you want?"

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin glanced down, spotting Kaige. So...he had come after all. A small smile appeared on her maw and she leapt down from the tree, landing in the shallow water that went up over her paws. Her tail swished behind her and she nodded. She opened her maw, then shut it again. she was sure she knew what she was going to say, but now, she wasnt so sure. Would he even care for what she had to say? Well...he had come. She shook her head. She didnt want to think like this anymore, wondering what will happen, feeling scared, weak...emo. She didnt want to be like that anymore.

She gave a small nod, standing up straight, her tail flickering behind her. She took a deep sigh, trying to scratch into her mind to find the right words. She thought her thoughts were clear, but now they only seemed more confusing than before. She took a step forward, her tail dipped into the water, and as if came back up, it splashed water onto her fur, which sparkled in the sunlight. Shinrin didnt seem old anymore, infact, it seemed she had hardly aged since the forgotten forest.

She stepped into the grass, sitting down as she stared over at Kaige, still trying to map together the right words. "Kaige..." She paused, then continued. "First...I want to ask you why you came back here, since you didnt answer me earlier. And second, what made you come here to listen to me, besides my asking you?"

((crappy post still))

[◕‿◕]

'What is this?' Kaige thought sourly in his mind, twitching faintly in order to keep himself together. 'Questionare for Kaige day? Oh well... might as well play it through.' Taking a breath and exhaling slowly, Kaige sat down upon the ground, keeping a watchful eye on Shinrin. "I never left," he said, his tone neutral, carefully put together to hide any trace of emotion. "I've always been here, just never within range of anyone else." He shrugged nonchalantly, forcing a grin. "It's nice having the power I have, y'know. It's easier to avoid others." A humorless laugh emitted from his parted maw and his crimson eyes dulled in color.

"And as for me coming here...." His sentence died an a brow arched as he glanced off to the side. "I don't even know the answer to that myself," he said, careful of how he worded that. "Maybe I thought you'd get off my back if I came. Maybe I thought those feelings I had for you would come back. Who knows?" His gaze turned back to her's and he smirked, letting everything fall into place. "It doesn't really matter."

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin frowned. She glanced away, her ears twitched a bit as if to contemplate what he had said. She took a deep sigh, then nodded, looking back over to Kaige. "No I guess it doesnt." Her tail wrapped casually around her paws as she continued talking. "Alright. Im just going to go out and say it. I havnt stopped thinking about you. Period." She took a deep breath, then looked up at the sky, trying to peice something together. Finally, she looked back down at him.

"Kaige Im sorry it hasnt been working out. I mean...you and Kali...and...yea...You seemed happy." She frowned, her ears tucking against her skull. "You loved her, didnt you?" She looked into his eyes. She wanted him to open up. She didnt feel like she was actually talking to him. She knew he was hiding emotions, and who knows what else. But she just wanted to be completly open with him now.

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"Well, you know, you should stop. It ain't that hard," he said, speaking as if it were an obvious thing. Though he knew, for her, that it wasn't. It bothered him slightly, but he didn't let it take over his life. It was just one of those small problems; not a life threatening one. At least, he didn't think it was life threatening. His eyes narrowed when she began to speak of Kali and his jaw tightened. What business did she have talking about Kali? It's not like she knew what had gone on between the two. She didn't have--- 'Keep it together, Kaige,' he thought in his mind. He shook his head quickly, looking placid.

"We were happy. I was happy. She was great," he said, making sure he didn't slip. He didn't want to feel weak; that wasn't an option for him. "And yes, I did love her. Why would I have been with her if I didn't? It's kind of stupid to be with someone you don't love," he said. 'Why am I doing this again?' he asked himself, dropping his gaze to the ground. 'Oh. Right.' Muttering something to himself, he looked back to Shinrin and his expression darkened. "I thought you were going to be talking to be because you needed to. I'm just getting grilled. What's up with that?"

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin glanced away. "Ive tried..." She let out a small laugh. "Its quite harder than you'd think...trying to forget only made me...well..." SHe looked up, shuddering slightly. "You saw me." She glanced down, sighing, then looked back up. "And I do need to talk to you, thats what Im doing. I need to speak with you, I need to know you again. Its been so long...its like youve changed, so much." She shrugged. She did want to know more about Kaige. "I want to...understand you better Kaige." She frowned. "To be quite honest, its because...last time I saw you....you told me that you wouldnt care if I dropped dead right there...it startled me, because you seemed so different. And I need to talk to you...just...because." She couldnt quite explain it completly. She wanted to..or atleast try to...help him.

She rose a brow. "You...loved her? As in past tense?" She frowned, glancing down. "DOnt think of me as...your ex mate...please. Im just...a friend." She looked back up at him. "A friend who really cares about you."

[◕‿◕]

His eyes narrowed more, but his expression remained the same. "You don't need to talk to me, you want to. You don't need to know me, you want to," he said with a quiet snort. Maybe he had made a mistake in coming here. He knew he would eventually get annoyed, so why did he? 'Curiosity killed the cat... oh, shut up,' he said in his mind, annoyed with himself more than he was with Shinrin. "I have changed. Everyone changes. It's a part of life, Shinrin. Are you ever going to get with it?" he snapped, knowing in the end, this wouldn't turn out good. At least, that was what he thought. For a brief moment, he felt bad. He didn't want to be angry with her. It wasn't all her fault, after all, though he still wasn't sure what he had done to make her leave in the first place. "How is it my fault?" he said, unaware of having said that out loud. With Shinrin, he wasn't sure. With Velia, he hadn't been sure. With Kali, he wasn't sure, either. Was this going to happen with every female he happened to pair up with? He was trying to put two and two together, but nothing was coming to mind. "Maybe I'm just stupid," he muttered, having completely forgotten Shinrin was there.

It was a few minutes later when he had snapped back into reality. He had vaguely heard what Shinrin had said and he scowled slightly. "Yes, loved," he replied. He didn't love her anymore. She had gone and found herself someone else to be with. He didn't need her, right? Right. Who was he kidding? He shook his head to himself and glared at the ground, avoiding Shinrin's gaze. He was still unsure.

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin frowned. "Your not stupid..." She muttered. "None of this was ever your fault. Its unfair to you." She turned around, staring at the ground. "Its more than I just want to talk to you Kaige. " She turned back around, her stare had shifted. "And I HAVE changed Kaige! It might have taken me awhile..alot longer than it should have...but I have." She frowned, looking away. "Ive changed...and Im through being sad, and useless. And Ive discovered alot..." She rose a brow to herself. "A whole lot...just in this past hour..." She shook it off, looking up to him. "Kaige...it seems you dont really know who I am anymore either." She smirked slightly. "Dont go trying to figure me out just yet."

[◕‿◕]

"No, I don't know who you are," he replied curtly, still glaring at the ground. "Honestly, I don't really care. And you know why?" He looked up suddenly, his expression unrecognizable. "I'm over it. I'm over everything. I'm over you, I'm over fighting, I'm over Kali. I'm over all of it." He shook his head, falling silent. He was over her, that thing he was sure of. But was he over Kali? His brows pulled together in thought and he frowned off in the distance. Who knew? Not even he was sure. He turned his gaze back to Shinrin and almost snorted with laughter. "Figure you out? I've never bothered with that and I definitely wouldn't bother with it now." He turned his gaze away, though the faint trace of a smirk twitched at the corner of his maw.

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin just smiled. She walked up to him. "Amazing. I loved you so much. You were all I could think about, you were the one who gave me courage. Im not sure if I have ever told you this before...but..." She stopped, sitting infront of him. "I never left you, not intentionally. I was kidnapped...wolfnapped...both times. I guess thats why it was so hard to get over you. You thought I left you...I was afraid to tell you the truth, afraid you wouldnt believe me, and even more, that you wouldnt care." She bit her lip. "But no matter what happened, you decided not to love me anymore. You decided that you just dont care." SHe smirked, getting up and walking to the water, looking back into her reflection.

"I hope you can learn to care about something again." She turned around, staring him in the eyes. "i may not be able to read minds anymore...but..." SHe rose a brow, smiling. "I can still read you, just as I could before Kaige. Your still in love." She wasnt refering to herself. This past hour and a half had shown her how selfish she had been. She dipped her tail in the water, then walked back to Kaige, shoving it playfully in his face. "Kaige...I will never be able to stop loving you, but even if it wasnt either of our faults, you just...dont love me anymore."

She moved closer, keeping her maw just inches away from his. "The reason I NEEDED to talk to you is simple. I needed to realize that I can move on. Even if I will never be over you, I can at least let you go. Its not fair for you to fear the possibility of bumping into me again. " She smiled, licking him maw, then backing off as she blushed, turning away. "Kaige...dont fool yourself. If you still love her...go to her." She turned back to him, frowning. "Because...no matter how many times you leave her, she will always want you back. "

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Kaige blinked, utterly dumbfounded. Did that really just happen? The mask was gone, replaced with visible shock. He really wasn't sure what to make of all this. "So... you... are... leaving me alone?" he asked, speaking quite slowly. Now that he had gotten what he wanted, something he had wanted for a long time, he wasn't quite sure if he really wanted her gone. A frown crossed his maw and his brows pulled tighter together. "I don't think I get it," he said, his frown deepening. "I really don't." And he didn't. For the first time in a long time, he felt extremely perplexed. And, what was it? Regret? Saddness? He couldn't figure it out.

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin frowned, walking over to water once more as she stared up into the waterfall. Her mind was finally clear. It had almost been as if she had been tied down by something, and was finally free. "Kaige, I want you to be happy. It may not have been my fault I disapeared...but its my fault you arnt happy now. Im the one who interupted you and Kali. I hadnt noticed it till now, but you two were happy together. I want you to be happy again. As I said...I will never stop loving you, but you have already stopped loving me. Whats the point in trying to make you love me again? I tried...that doesnt work. I cant make you do anything, and it was selfish of me to try. You be you Kaige, and I...I will be me."

[◕‿◕]

Kaige was still stumped and it showed clearly across his expression, especially in his eyes. He was silent for a long time as he went over his thoughts, trying to process all that she had said. 'So, this is it? Huh...' He shook his head, feeling very.. different. He was feeling more than one thing at once and it was overwhelming. Feeling like he was being weighed down by thousands of bricks, he pushed himself to his paws and headed over to where Shinrin was. He stared at her for awhile, wondering if he would step into her mind, but then decided against it. "So...," he said after awhile, breaking the silence. "This is how it ends?" Once more, he was silent. He wasn't sure what to say and he couldn't figure out what it was that was bothering him more than usual. "Regardless of what you think..." He paused and turned towards her, looking quite unsual. "You're wrong." He laughed once without humor and licked her cheek before he turned to go. "Sometimes, someone is just good at hiding things." And with a sad smile, he started off into the curtain of trees that surrounded the waterfall without looking back.

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin stared on, her face showing possibly more shock than Kaige had shown just moments ago. She blinked, her tail falling behind her. "Kaige?" Her ears drooped. What did he mean by that? And he...he licked her cheek. She blushed. Her heart lunged. She wanted to chase after him...but no...he didnt love her. Right? He was just...confused. He would have never been happy with her...right? She wouldnt go after him, she couldnt.

Without a moments hesitation, she took off into the foliage. She wasnt being controlled by her mind, but her heart. She felt that...she just couldnt let Kaige go now. Her feet carried her faster than she ever rememebered, her heart racing faster than her paws. "Kaige..." She muttered between harsh breaths. Then she spotted him, just barely through the trees. She let off a quick burst of speed, launching herself infront of him, then stopping completly. "Kaige?" She still had the shocked face from before. "W...w..what do you mean?"

[◕‿◕]

Though he had only been gone for a mere minute or two, everything that had shown in his expression was gone now. He stopped abruptly, nearly barreling into Shinrin as she leapt infront of him. "What?" he asked, looking fairly calm. "What do I mean? What are you talking about?" His brow arched and his eyes narrowed slightly. Yes, he was going to play that game. He was going to pretend nothing had happened and that he didn't have the slightest clue as to what she was tallking about. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to be a little specific with me," he said a moment later, looking normal once again.

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin stared blankly at Kaige. Maybe she couldnt read him as well as she used to...What he said...what he did. "Kaige." Her eyes were still wide. "You said I was wrong. I knew I had been wrong about many things...but I was sure I was right about this." She thought about when he licked her cheek and she blushed. "I...I dont believe I understand." Her mind told her to leave, her heart told her to stay, and she just wound up with a toothache.

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"I don't think I understand, either," he said, now frowning. Yes, he knew he was being a fool. Yes, he knew he was being immature. Yes, he knew he was a complete nimrod. He shouldn't have said what he had said. Now he had just made an even bigger mess of things. 'Get it together, idiot. You made the mistake of saying it, now you have to deal with it.' It was nice that Shinrin couldn't get into his mind. He had a feeling if she did, it would make things ever worse. His gaze was on Shinrin, but he had been in his own fantasy world, finally snapping back into reality. He wasn't sure what to say at that point and he soon began to study the area around him. He needed something to do. Maybe if he were lucky, she would forget about what he had said, but he knew it wouldn't be that easy.

[wolfurchick]

Shinrin frowned. "Kaige..." She turned around, wanting to slam her head into a tree. "This wasnt supposed to happen! What I mean is...you dont love me! You said you didnt love me! You said it didnt matter if I died right there! I love you Kaige, but I wanted you to be happy! I thought you were happy with Kali...Kaige I never wanted to let you go, I wished I could have been there with you forever! But you dont love me! Atleast...thats what I thought! Now Im more confused than I think I ever have been!" For once, tears were not streaming down her face. "So tell me Kaige! Please! I want YOU to be happy!"

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Kaige sighed and looked skyward before looking back to Shinrin. "Alright, alright," he said, looking defeated. He took a deep breath and dropped his gaze to the ground, trying to figure how to word what he wanted to say. "Well," he said after a moment, looking back to her, his crimson eyes full of confusion. "To be honest, I really don't know what I meant. I'm kinda confused myself, y'know." He made an attempt at a grin, but failed miserably.