|
|
Post by wolfurchick on Feb 21, 2008 18:56:12 GMT -5
'Maybe your right. I should let him go...it's best for the both of us.'
Shinrin's own words rung through her head, yet she rejected them over and over again. She had lied. She had told her sister that she would be ok with Kaige not loving her...that she would be ok that Kaige wouldnt care if she just...died...but it was far from the truth. What was left of Shinrin's already shattered heart faded onto the cold wind. It was all she could do to stop herself from just dropping dead. It was hard to live without a heart...but it could be done apparently, Kaige was proof of that.
Shinrin bit her tongue for thinking such horrible things about Kaige. It was true that he had broken what was left of her heart, her love, her dignity...her life...however, she could never be mad at Kaige. Never...ever since she first met him...he had told her that one cannot help what they feel...well despite Kaige apparently wishing Shinrin would stop loving him, Shinrin would have to accept that he cannot help his feelings. She would just have to move on...some how...without Kaige.
That option had come into Shinrin's mind many times, but it seemed so impossible. She loved none but Kaige. Back in her younger years, she had been so shy...Kaige had helped her be brave.Shinrin could never thank him enough for what he gave to her.And she had ruined it...the moment she said 'I love you.' She had fortold this moment from the stars those years ago, but she refused to believe it. It was for that reason she was unable to protect herself from those whom wanted her, the ones who would rip her from Kaige...The stars had said it all, but she did not heed their warnings. She would never regret anything more.
She let out a sigh as she plopped into the grass. No..she couldnt just die like she had almost done of the broken heart last time...no she promised Taikai she would help bring down Sabaku. She knew only they could stop her sister's terror. She no matter the situation between her and Kaige...she had to drop it...if only for a while. She just had to move on...despite the hurt.
She rolled over onto her back, staring up at the stars.she wished she had her origonal powers back, that she could read the stars. So she could read her future..and Kaige's future. As long as he lived happily..she would do all right.....she could be happy. But...if Kaige didnt live happy...there would be no one to blame it on but herself. She couldnt never find herself to forgive her. Come to think of it...she was glad she couldnt read into the future...glad she could no longer read minds...oh what would she have read from Kaige's mind? Perhaps he was wishing she WOULD drop dead right there, or maybe he was thinking how much he hates her, or something worse...then again, maybe he would have been regretting yelling at her, maybe he would be telling himself how much he really loves her, but cant stand being hurt again...
Shinrin quickly shook the thought from her mind. She could not let herself be fooled into thinking such foolish things. Kaige had said what he thought. End of that. Shinrin rolled back onto her stomach, resting her head on her rather large, scarred paws. She closed her eyes. Out of all her sisters, and many others that she knew, she was the best thinker, but thinking is exactly what got her into trouble in the first place. She would have to forget thinking and act to what life throws at her.
She sat up, scratching the single annoying itch behind her ear. After a moment, she lowered her leg and curled her tail around her shivering legs. It was so funny, a few months..or weeks...or however long ago it was, Shinrin had crawled up nearly dead to tell Kaige how sorry she was. She was battered and bruised. life had definetly thrown quiet a bit at her. Her fur had grayed and she had many cuts and blood stains, not to mention the nearly permanent limp in her step. Now, as she sat staring ahead, wondering what else life was going to slash at her, she looked quite like her old self. Indeed, she hardly seemed to have aged a bit. Her fur was now shining, and she looked just as beautiful as she did before meeting kaige. ...just an unfortunate curse since her sister's dropped in.
She lifted her maw into the air. It felt colder than normal, and she shivered slightly with the wind, the single feather flowing from her neck as is rode the warm currents. Despite the way the wolfess felt, the weather was rather warm. Shinrin looked out into the distance, with an almost longing in her look. Maybe..maybe some day she would be able to move on...when, she wasnt sure. She closed her eyes and shook Kaige from her mind. Hopefully...for the sake of Kaige...she would never think of him again.
|
|
|
|
Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Feb 21, 2008 19:34:53 GMT -5
He walked in the shadows of it all, yellow eyes gazing out practically quietly into the world around him. He wasn't one to be bothered, though he was a sort of push-over. He avoided conversation, and didn't want people to see him... ever. This male would prefer to stay in the shadows, not to be found. He wanted to live in peace. People didn't seem to understand that about him. At least God didn't. He always brought him back into that life that he never wanted. The life that was filled with meyhem and calamity. Couldn't anyone see that this was clearly not the way that he wanted to go? Clearly not the way that he wanted to live? Clealy not the things he wanted to do, see? Apparently not.
Xarkith sighed out loud, making a face. Maybe life would cut him a break this time. Maybe not. Who was he kidding? Hah. Like anything would ever slow down. That was impossible when you were Xarkith. What was next? Wars? Fights? Family? Love? He snorted. Love. Something Xarkith would never have. It was to be impossible for someone to like Xarkith to find true love. Sadly, Xarkith would never have the perfect relationship. Just more and more heartbreak.
Xarkith sighed, his black pelt barely visible in the night of this... day. He frowned. His yellow eyes showed bightly in the darkness around him. He was pretty sad. And depressed. There was nothing good about this life that he led. No one deserved it. And he couldn't see what he had done to deserve it. Oh well. |
|
|
|
Post by wolfurchick on Feb 21, 2008 20:31:33 GMT -5
With one final last sigh, Shinrin stood up and began walking. She didnt know where she was going to go. There wasnt much place left for her to go...she couldnt go home...she couldnt stay here....atleast not for too long, but for the moment being, she would have to...She shook her head. She wished she could just have a....relaxing day. At least one. She just wanted to settle down, to forget the past worries, to move on...
But she knew it would not come. Not when she was born into such a family. It was doom from the beginning. She stepped on a twig, jumping at the sound until realizing it was just her. She shook it from her head and kept walking, careful not to walk on anymore, scary twigs. Her fur sparkled behind her as she walked, her tail flowing in perfect rythm. You could hardly tell how troubled she was, even by staring into her large, glorious eyes.
She hated what she was. She wished she could have been someone else. And she hated being beautiful. Ofcourse she wasnt the most beautiful wolf, but she was much happier when she was just, ugly Mori. Atleast then others wouldnt be fooled by her looks. She rolled her eyes to herself, but spotted someone nearby.
SHe came to quite an abrubt stop, staring out at the glowing yellow eyes. She slowly lowered her shoulders and looked at the male. There was something in his eyes that made her...want to speak with him. She couldnt explain it...but there was something there. She cocked her head slightly, but didnt speak. She found her voice quite empty nowadays.
|
|
|
|
Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Mar 1, 2008 9:08:12 GMT -5
Xarkith felt eyes upon him, he slowly brought his gaze from the ground and looked back into the fae's eyes before him. She seemed... different. Sad, would be the approiate word, maybe. Nonetheless, Xarkith knew that there was something different about this female. Like she had been pained, too. Like maybe she understood what he was feeling. How could anyone know, though? It was impossible. To feel the way that Xarkith felt. To be hurt, and lost. Espically with such a friendly and quiet personality. Sensative, to make it worse.
"Hello..." Xarkith said slowly, not sure where he was going with this... but was going to go somewhere. "My name is Xarkith." He said, slightly hesitantly at first, but having his voice return to it's normal state after a moment. |
|
|
|
Post by wolfurchick on Mar 2, 2008 13:49:48 GMT -5
Her ears pinned against her skull. Now that the male had talked...she felt.....shy...shy like she had so long ago. Just the same...she wanted to talk to him, and was glad he spoke up. She gave a slight nod, sitting herself where she was, not daring to come any closer. She tore her gaze from him, peering down at the ground, ashamed of herself. Her tail curled around her paws. "Im...." She hesitated. She couldnt give her real name...but she couldnt say Mori either...so what name would she give? "Im Shinrin." She paused. She had meant to say something different...but she just blurted out her name. It was as if she couldnt lie...
Maybe it would be best to talk to the wolf..but what could she say? 'hi I got this feeling that I should talk to you even though I know nothing about you? so how was your day?' yea right. She blinked, finally looking back up at him. "Nice to...uhh...meet you ....Xarkith..." She nearly whispered, her voice a bit shaky.
|
|
|
|
Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Mar 2, 2008 14:40:39 GMT -5
"You too, Shinrin..." Xarkith really wasn't very sure how he was supposed to act around others anymore. Sadly, he hadn't been around another in forever. It was quite upsetting, to one who could easily bring so much happiness to others but couldn't because no one wanted to be around him. Shame, really.
What was he supposed to say now? He had no idea. "So are you a part of this pack...?" He asked her slowly, not sure what else to say. He wanted to stay and talk to her, and he wasn't sure why. But he had no idea what to say and when to say it. That was a problem. A very big problem. |
|
|
|
Post by wolfurchick on Mar 2, 2008 14:46:10 GMT -5
"WEll...uh...actually...I..." She stuttered. She glanced around akwardly a bit. Would it be smart to tell him that she wasnt? Or should she lie and say she was? But if she tried to lie...the truth would probably just blirt itself out anyways... "No...Im not. I just...came here...looking for someone..." She frowned, staring down at her paws. "Nearly killed myself doing it.." She gave a pathetic chuckle. "And just to learn I was wasting my time..." Her ears drooped.
"But...Im staying here a while...not sure how long. I cant exactly go back home...its....too far to go back." She shrugged slightly. "I guess it doesnt really matter..." She almost forgot she was actually talking to someone else. " Im a useless, wasteful life anyways...this pack shouldnt have to bother with me..."
|
|
|
|
Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Mar 2, 2008 14:55:13 GMT -5
Xarkith chuckled lightly at how apparently low she thought of herself. It reminded him of himself. "Don't worry... I'm not either. And you really seem to hate yourself. But I couldn't imagine why." He added, before he could stop himself. He didn't look embarrassed or anything in the least, however. Xarkith was good at keeping his cool in tight situations. |
|
|
|
Post by wolfurchick on Mar 2, 2008 15:00:15 GMT -5
Shinrin looked up to Xarkith with a shocked face, as if she just noticed she was actually talking to someone the whole time. She shook away her expression, then looked back down at her paws. "Im sure youve done nothing like I have..." She let out a long quiet sigh. "I hate myself because everyone else does, and so should I." Now that she was talking...she was glad Xarkith was there. She needed someone to talk to...ofcourse she had Taikai, but talking to her half-evil sister wasnt enough.
"It seems no matter what I try to make the world better, to make others happy, I only make things worse. I thought I had done everything bad I could when I came back....founds out i didnt. Coming back to find him...that was the worst mistake of my life...I should have just....died...."
|
|
|
|
Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Mar 2, 2008 20:36:23 GMT -5
"No, one should never just die. Every single living thing out there has a purpose." He smiled comfortingly. She obviousally came here looking for someone. And by the sounds of it, he was a male. Who had broken her heart. Xarkith had had his heart broken. It wasn't fun. |
|
|
|
Post by wolfurchick on Mar 10, 2008 20:07:19 GMT -5
Shinrin frowned. Her ears drooped and she looked away. She could have argued, could have said there was no purpose for her. Instead, she blurted out something in a bit of a sarcastic tone. "Yea...My purpose was to cause harm to everyone I love." Her head drooped. She felt horrible. All she had ever done was hurt others...what the hell kind of purpose was that? Maybe she was just born to become a fearsome four member, kill a bunch of wolves, then die, and she just trailed off and ruined things for everyone else. She hurt Kaige... She felt a deep pain, but not in her heart. That had died a while ago. She sat up straight, realizing the pain was coming from her back. Now that she realized it, she was aching every where. SHe groaned, letting her self collapse onto the grass.
|
|
|
|
Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Mar 10, 2008 21:20:39 GMT -5
This wouldn't help at all... but before he realized it he just blurted something out. "Well if indeed this was your purpose, then maybe it was teaching that one, or multiple, others you loved something about pain." That probably hadn't made any sense and was really stupid but oh well. Xarkith sighed, his yellow gaze drifting. 'You're such an idiot, Xarkith.' He told himself mentally. |
|
|
|
Post by wolfurchick on Mar 27, 2008 19:43:19 GMT -5
Shinrin raised a brow. To her, it...really didnt make much sense, but she didnt care. She was just glad to finally...maybe...have someone to talk to. Someone who didnt hate her right away. "I loved him..." She found herself blurting out, looking down as if talking to the dirt. "He was my life...I would have done anything for him..." She closed her eyes. "I guess...we...were just never meant to be..." The last words she spoke could not have been her own. No matter how many times she would mutter them, she could never believe them. She still wanted to be with him...but he made it clear...he wouldnt have cared if she died...right there in front of him...he probably would have laughed. It would have been alot better...to just die...to take the thorn from Kaige's paw....
|
|
