Post by Emilyyyyyyyyy on Jan 12, 2008 13:01:12 GMT -5
September 2004]]
I was almost dead, I really was. I wish I just died... it was torture. Then someone named Kinslik came and saved me. He's really nice, I think I'll stay with him for a while. He even believed me when I said I knew everything! Haha, he's so gullible. He'll believe everything I say and it makes me happy. It's weird... I told him I felt a weird feeling in my tummy but I didn't feel sick, and that my head felt good and he said that feeling was happy. So whatever. I guess I'm happy then.
November 2004]]
Kinslik's become just like my father. Infact... I can't imagine my life without him. Literally, I'd be dead. I don't even wish for death anymore. It's weird. I've only been alive for almost three months... and yet I trust him with my life. I don't like it. It's seriousally strange. And yet I do. Man I can't even tell how I feel.
March 2005]]
I killed somebody! I can't tell Kinslik he'll kill me! Oh my gosh I can't believe myself... I didn't even try to. Oh no what will I do? I'm not even a year old! I don't want to be alone again. I didn't even try. Just I was outside, and another pup was really being mean to me and called me a freak because I have weird colors. So I got mad and then my mind took over and sent sharp pains and disturbing pictures through my head, and I guess his too, cause then he killed himself and said it was all my fault. I can't believe it, I'm a murderer!
April 2005]]
I... I did it again. I can't even control it. I told Kinslik, too. And he wasn't even mad! He said he'd help me learn how to control them. I'm so grateful to have him here with me. I couldn't be happier. I guess the old brute is good for more than just keeping me alive and happy. That's so weird! But hey, I'm glad. I swear the guy is like an angel or something.
August 2005]]
Well we did it! I found out all of my powers and I know how to control them! I only almost killed him eight times. I'm so proud right now. It's such a joy to know that I can do these things, I feel less like a monster. It's wonderful. Like someone just lifted a building off my chest and I can breathe again. Kinslik says I'm really smart for being only eleven months old. And I say it's just cause I have a really good teacher. He asks who cause he wants to meet him and then we both laugh. I really like him. I never wanna leave.
September 2005]]
Ahh! I could just scream! I did scream! I'm so upset! I killed three peopple today but for good reasons! I couldn't even kill the one I wanted to kill! I want to cry. Kinslik's dead! He's DEAD!!! Right after my birthday, dammit! I can't believe he died. It's so horrible. Some wolf came and just told him this was his new home, and then Kinslik tried to save it for us, because I told him it was my favortie place on Earth. Even though I meant with him. Kinslik died fighting... for ME. I can't believe it. I feel horrible.
January 2006]]
I've changed a lot since September. I can see that. I'm no longer carefree, I've changed a lot. And I mean A LOT. I'm mean now, and I have reason to be mean. No one can tell me what to do now. I'm just being myself, and not gonna let anyone tell me what to do or who to be. I made a promise with myself last night. I promised not to give anyone my heart in any way at all. It's impossible to change me now.
October 2006]]
Psh, I hate this. I tried to join a pack, and then I was there for a month, and then they kicked me out when someone realized what I did and was capable of doing. So I killed them all. Yup, every. single. one. I'm kind of merciless now. You'll just have to get used to it. I'm not a good person, and I'm not happy at all. Kays? Kay. Then we understand. I'm just going to avoid all contact now.
October 2007]]
Yeah I know, it's been a whole year. Suck it up and deal. Nothing good's been happening. Well, I met someone and didn't kill them. That was a first. I guess I felt bad because he was so nice to me. Too nice. It was really weird. He seems okay though I guess... I think I'll leave soon though.
January 2008]]
I'm still in that same pack's land. They're the Nozomi wolves or whatever. Woo. I honestly don't care about them. The reason I'm writing is because I met someone. His name's Hiraku. I really like him... infact I think I love him. And now I'm upset, and probably going to kill myself. His sister came and ruined everything. He went to hell, literally. I don't think I can handle much more misery in my life, so I think I'm just going to end all this. I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to die. I'll thow myself off the mountain.
